I don't mean this to be taken as cocky, or even bragging, in any way. I have always suffered from a serious case of stubbornness. There are as many days this is a bad thing as there are good. Lately, though, it has been a good thing. I have the drive and determination to get to my goals, no matter how much I have to push myself.
I will be honest, I have always had a hard time sympathizing with those who find it so easy to "give up". I don't understand how you can be ok with not making yourself go through with something you set out to do. I know this is all because of a past of never being "good enough". I spent a lot of my life pushing so hard, yet never amounting to what was expected of me. I know deep down I think the way I do, and am so hard on myself because of that. I also know that's why I have a hard time remembering that not everyone else thinks that way.
When I set a goal for myself, no matter how simple of a goal, I will exhaust myself to ridiculous levels to achieve whatever it may be. This past spring, my goal was to complete training, and finish my very first 5k in less than 30 minutes. It wasn't easy, and the training was hard. The training was most difficult because I had this person who told me "you are tired" "you aren't a runner" "you can't finish", the entire time. It was me. Not only did I complete training and run my first 5k, I did it in 29:46. How? My drive.
Right now, it is to continue the success of my small home business of designing and sewing children's clothing. I feel so blessed to have the positive feedback, and the constant business, but it takes a lot of drive to keep myself up till the wee hours of the morning to finish orders in time. It takes even more drive to get up the next day to go to work, or bible study, or a play group. It takes drive to come back home, clean, cook, do laundry, spend time with and play with my little man and husband, organize the craft group I run, (maybe) get a run in, then invoice clients and sew even more after my guys are in bed. But I do it. I enjoy it. I enjoy the work - let me rephrase that - I enjoy looking back on the accomplishment. I enjoy knowing that I had the drive to finish, even when I thought I never would. I did it. I was good enough.
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